Roo Graduates with Honors

Dean Gannaway presents the diploma to the dignified young valedictorian.

You know how competitive the academic world is these days. Students view their college careers as a time to sharpen the cutthroat chops it will take to survive in a world that grows more cruel by the minute. And so, in a move that will leave the rest of her class - consisting of Baxter, a six-month-old Portugese Water Dog - emotionally scarred and possibly focused on vengeance for the rest of his life, Dean Carol Gannaway selected Roo to deliver the commencement address at her graduation from one of the Pacific Northwest's premier institutions of dog learning, Canine Potentials of Clinton, Washington.

Roo ascended the dais and cooly surveyed Baxter and his mommy Jane. Then the young graduate shocked everyone by rebelling against every tradition ever known to the academy. She decided to say… nothing. 

Instead, Roo gazed poignantly over the far horizon, as if she had just sighted a particularly squeaky, far-flung mouse, who, alas, could never be caught, if only because that is the plight of she who seeks truth. Her wistful look spoke of the long nights of study in her smoke-filled dorm, the coffee-drenched sessions in which she and Baxter, weighty tomes and dog-eared notebooks open before them, first ventured so innocently to romp in the fields of the mind. Even young Baxter was visibly touched by the wizened visage peering out from under her mortarboard as the Kahoo shifted the tassel from the left side to the right. Her silence was limitlessly eloquent, making it a ceremony no one will ever forget.

Roo was especially thankful to Dean Carol Gannaway, without whose tutelage Daddy would never have been brought to heel.