Roo's one-dog crime wave heats up

  Operating under the influence of her admiration of Bonnie & Clyde, Roo is seen here drifting farther outside the confines of the law. Informed that the sign is there because the water is brimming with alligators, her response seemed to be, "You mean a pack of skinny little Mississippi mud mouses? Bring 'em on. I'll fight 'em here  so you don't have to fight 'em there. Carpet bomb 'em until the sand in their eyes glows. Make blood come out of their ears and out of their wherevers. Repeal that alligator skin right offa them and replace it with something really, really terrific. Put 'em on a table and keep 'em alive just long enough to harvest their little mud mouse brains. Toss 'em off the George Washington Bridge at rush hour. That'll schlong 'em!" [As has been previously observed, Roo watches too much of the only cable news station named for a canid, so outbursts of this tone are not unusual for her. -ed.]   She changed her tune when she got back to the camper and was startled by the sound of a car running over a Big Mac container, which made her hide behind the bed for twenty minutes.

 

Operating under the influence of her admiration of Bonnie & Clyde, Roo is seen here drifting farther outside the confines of the law. Informed that the sign is there because the water is brimming with alligators, her response seemed to be, "You mean a pack of skinny little Mississippi mud mouses? Bring 'em on. I'll fight 'em here  so you don't have to fight 'em there. Carpet bomb 'em until the sand in their eyes glows. Make blood come out of their ears and out of their wherevers. Repeal that alligator skin right offa them and replace it with something really, really terrific. Put 'em on a table and keep 'em alive just long enough to harvest their little mud mouse brains. Toss 'em off the George Washington Bridge at rush hour. That'll schlong 'em!" [As has been previously observed, Roo watches too much of the only cable news station named for a canid, so outbursts of this tone are not unusual for her. -ed.]

 

She changed her tune when she got back to the camper and was startled by the sound of a car running over a Big Mac container, which made her hide behind the bed for twenty minutes.

Meanwhile...

The 26-year-old billionaire who owns the web company where this site is parked has been threatening to have my legs broken. Seems the vigorish on a few hundred dollars I owe him is adding up, so, if you feel like chipping in a buck or two, please click on the PayPal donate button in the right column. Just remember that PayPal skims 3 percent + 30¢ from every transaction, so a buck is actually 67¢, two bucks is $1.64 and so on. If the idea of that commission is what's keeping you from sending a million dollars, just notify me via skywriting message and we'll come and pick it up in cash tonight. Roo and I will be lying in the dirt and scanning the sky for the message all day today, so don't disappoint.