Apologies and yes, Roo is okay

Hi, Everybody - 

To those of you who wondered what was going on, I apologize for not having posted in so long and for not responding to all the emails and Facebook posts and comments. It's because I've been at a loss for words about the way things have gone over the past months. Don't mention to Roo that the cat's got my tongue. It would shatter whatever respect she still has for me.

Roo is fine. Better than ever, actually. I don't have any recent pictures, but that one is only a couple of months old. Roo is under the illusion that she's on the best walk any dog has ever been on. Of course, she's wrong—it's only the second or third best. A Newfoundland named Seaman (google Newfoundland and Seaman and you'll see) had the best walk, and then Roo and Orville come in second and third—the order is debatable. Probably Roo. At night, in her dreams, she reviews the reduction she has singlehandedly inflicted on the mouse population of the entire United States. She has personally dug up all of it but New Jersey, which, considering that it's run by that crooked whore of Trump's, Chris Christie, and if she did dig there would only find Jimmy Hoffa and half a million half-burned tires, is a good thing.

Don't worry if I don't post again for a while. Everything's fine. At least we're not in New Jersey.