A cheap substitute for DNA testing

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According to a careful study of our web analytics being circulated in graduate business schools, if you're reading this you're either a human or a dog. Our cat numbers are too low to even bother trying to capture that market. And not to digress, but this is representative of the poor ability cats have to understand even basic messages and a problem I am no longer interested in trying to correct. If cats don't want to visit the site, that's their right. I've posted about them twice, a wonderfully flattering portrait of one of them, and then the film of Roo's nightmare, in which she is prevented from chasing a cat. That's not good enough for a cat. There just isn't any satisfying them, and I'm through trying. This site can — as it so often has — go to the dogs.

If you're having any trouble determining the category of reader you are in, this photo should help you. If you're a human, your reaction to this mud pit would be one of avoidance. If it calls to you, if it seems to be inviting you to slosh through it, you are probably a Labrador. If it is demanding that you roll in it until you resemble the mottled carcass of a marmot unearthed by paleontologists studying ancient mudslides, you are a Golden retriever. Save the money you would have spent on one of those DNA testing services and simply take your dog to the nearest mud slide or quicksand deposit to find out.