This land of many contrasts


A few days ago, an article appeared on CNN’s web site that got skewered on Twitter for being badly written. One of the standout sentences was that Trump, “… was on the tiled patio of Mar-a-Lago, bathed in golden light, with his wife and son Barron, who had reached teenagerhood two days earlier” before droning on about his coterie of confidants, his legal albatross, opening a new chapter of which Trump will only get to write part of the script (just typing that hurts), and more.

But, teenagerhood? Is that even something people reach? Bathed in golden light? Trump? The only thing Trump bathes are the cans of Aqua Net he hides behind a bust of Robert E. Lee. The best one-line critique of the article came from author and editor Benjamin Dreyer, who wrote, “I’ve never seen an entire article’s worth of “is a land of contrasts,” which was funny because even though the article didn’t use that cliché, the rest of its style was filled with them. I felt a little sorry for the guy whose byline was on the story. A decent editor would have slapped him around a little and brought him back to his senses and he wouldn’t have had to suffer the ridicule when thousands of people jumped on with “land of contrast” jokes.

It’s worth noting that CNN, which is run by the former producer of The Apprentice, a man who has gone to extraordinary lengths to protect thousands of hours of footage of Trump saying more of the sort of things we’ve already heard Trump say about women and minorities, recently hired as its political director a woman with no prior journalistic experience beyond right-wing conspiracy theory. Obama birth certificate, Pizzagate, Uranium One, massacred first graders being crisis actors hired for a false flag operation, that kind of stuff. The world of journalism, atop the pinnacle of which this web site is of course perched, was stunned by the hiring.  And she hasn’t disappointed. Since she got there, Trump started to show up bathed in a little more golden light.

But… “Land of contrasts?” Is that so bad? Because no matter how much I wrack my brain trying to avoid using a cliché, I can think of no other way to describe Oklahoma than as a land of contrasts. Wait — I’ve got it: land of many contrasts would be better. Oklahoma, land of many contrasts where the one thing you can bet the farm on is that if you don’t like the weather just wait a half hour because it’ll change and stop raining cats and dogs for as far as the eye can see. 

No. As you can see in the photo, there’s no other way to describe this corner of Oklahoma. True, it might have been a stretch to shoot the photo in color, because the light Roo was bathed in happened to be quite golden, and what with Roo being a Golden, things started to get out of hand and go downhill from there, so I went with black and white in the accompanying photo, resulting in the usual top-notch literary quality you have come to expect here. That’s how a pro operates, folks.

So, Roo and I bid you adieu from this land of many contrasts, where, between you, me and the fencepost, if you want to keep up with the Joneses all you have to do is build a better mouse, and all the world’s dogs, or at least Roo, will lead you down the garden path and straight to the poorhouse.