Grizzled Bear


Sometimes I think I’m blind to what Roo really looks like, because she never looks old to me. Usually it’s the other way around. When I look at her, I always think how young and healthy she looks, even puppyish sometimes. But then I see a picture like this one, taken today, and realize that this is the face of an aging dog. Same thing with her weight. When she comes out of the water and her fur is all slicked down, I always tell myself she doesn’t look fat. But she’s put on a lot of weight, even though I have her trimmed back to so little food that I don’t know how she survives on it.

She’s seven and a half. I wonder if the stress of the amount of fear she experiences is affecting her. For example, I joke all the time about how late she sleeps, but in reality the chances are it’s because she wakes up every few minutes, alarmed at the sound of a truck on the highway, or the wind or rain. If there’s thunder, of course she doesn’t sleep at all. Like any dog, she takes lots of naps, but can they make up for her poor sleep.

It has got to be getting harder for her. From the start, I recognized that Roo always worried about any sound of which she couldn’t see the source. No matter how many times she hears something, and then, even if she sees what made it once — like the same truck going over the same gravel — if she can’t see it, she’s at least concerned by it. It’s always been that way. Here, there’s a road about 1500 feet away, and every time a truck passes, she’s concerned. Not scared. She seems to be asking herself, “Was that thunder?”

There is a terrible storm coming tomorrow. It’ll start raining overnight and the thunder is supposed to start in the morning. To prepare for that, I got her to take a walk around 8, but her swollen paw was bothering her too much. The storm is forecast to last all day and through Sunday morning. That means that Roo will not go out. No matter how badly she will need to, if it’s thundering all day, there will be no getting her to go out. She’ll spend the day in a panic.

Usually there are some breaks in the weather and I can get her to go out, but this one is supposed to be a solid, longer storm. There’s nothing on the radar yet, but I ran out of bandwidth it takes to see it and so I don’t know for sure. A guy here told me the local news said four inches of rain. And the hourly forecast from 11 tomorrow morning until 5 the next is solid thunderstorms.

Thinking that if we could get a little farther north, I made the trailer ready to leave here tomorrow. Roo would get in the car, even if she refused to go out, but only because hitching the trailer scares her enough to make her want to bolt. Once outside, no matter how badly she might have to go, she wouldn’t. I don’t know how she holds on so long, but she regularly holds it for 20 hours. But, then I realized that the plate on the trailer is expired. The DMV won’t be open until Monday, so we can’t go.

I figure we’ll head east and stop to look in local papers along the way to see if there’s anyplace to rent. As much as I want to get out of the camper, I’ve got to find something for Roo. There’s no reason to think she isn’t any less fed up with being in this tiny camper than I am.

So, we’ll be off, and I’ll keep you posted….