Day 86: A fresh round of terror


A torrential rain has been falling for hours, accompanied by occasional light thunder, which has been enough, of course, to terrify Roo. Like every time there has been thunder, I am glued to a weather radar app to try to spot a break when Roo might go outside. Finally a brief break appeared, but Roo was too frightened to make a go of it. She needed to poop, but every time she started to, she suspected thunder, or possibly heard some too far away for me to hear it, and bottled up. We got soaked and the mosquitoes, evidently outraged by having to fly between the raindrops, were vicious. Roo was too upset to keep trying. If she hadn’t been leashed she would have run into the woods and dug a hole. She kept suggesting it and arguing with me to let her.

When we got back to the camper Roo tried to run off and hide in the bushes. I hated to have to muscle her back – she’s no more in the mood for that than I am – but I couldn’t let her do that, if for no other reason that once out of eyeshot she would definitely lick the delicate scab on her arm open again.

But that’s not the source of the fresh terror. A new hard lump on Roo’s left foreleg is. I sent the picture you see here to the vet. My index finger is positioned on the lump. I first noticed it last night. It seems to have become harder overnight. Dr. Mason said that there’s no way to tell if it’s a swollen lymph node based on my description or the position of the lump. So, tomorrow Roo has to return to the hospital for a fine needle aspiration of the lump. She has also developed a bad rash on her belly, but that seems to respond a little to Gentacalm spray. And her fur is falling out in clumps. For all of that, she’s not feeling bad. Just scared. So scared.

Maybe it’s nothing, just a lipoma. But it could be the sign that Roo’s remission isn’t holding. Or something else entirely. So we’ll be waiting, in the racket of rain.